Saturday

In the night, sometimes, it is hard to differentiate between bats and birds.

I don't have a voice, and this happened because of bacteria.

My cells are 5% of human and 95% bacterial. Why can't I look like bacteria? Why can't I be that colorful?

I squirm around on the floor sometimes, people in this world call that dancing. I sometimes attach to things. I sometimes forcefully attach to other humans, who are also composed of 95% bacteria.
I wouldn't tell them that because sometimes people are afraid of the things that keep them alive.

I am one of those people. I used to go out at night and look for the bats with my best friend who I now fear more than myself. He and I liked extreme temperatures, like freezing or one hundred degrees. Some nights we would thrive and grow out on the ice covering Lake Michigan, when silence was enough.

I was afraid of falling through the ice, and now I am afraid of the dark. I felt so powerful then.

I cannot see the bacteria where I walk, all I feel is air on my face. I breathe in the cold, the warm, and then the rejection.

Anti-bacterial medication cannot cure rejection. I go inside when it rains because I am feeling many things.

You won't melt, my friend tells me.

I want to be alone, I say.

My room is disinfected because that is how modern people like to live. Without life. This is how I like it because I am modern.

I can't identify flying creatures inside a building, except dust. Slowly I am eroding away.

They say that Lake Michigan will disappear in the future because of sand erosion, and some people think this is sad. Some people like to look at the water without going in it. These people are often very good-looking and easy to attach to and to love.

I am not one of these people.

I don't know what kind of person I am because I am afraid of water even though, without it, I would die.

Bats and birds live around Lake Michigan and so does my friend. He is disappearing under the sand as well, while I sit on my beach towel and watch.

My skin is on fire.

I couldn't eat today.

I am physically visible to other humans, but my mind is not here.

When I approach doors, I see people on the other side approaching on both sides of my own reflection. This is when I choose another door. I don't want to collide with anyone.

But there is one thing I would collide with.

He told me he always sees me at the bus stop, and I say, that's because I am always waiting for things. But not for everything because I will never have it all. There is one thing I always wait for, every day every hour, mostly because it will never come.

I am on my own now.