Hiding

I'm supposed to "describe myself in 200 words." I don't know what they want to know. What would I want to know about myself? Not as much as I do. So I'm going to make a list of phrases here, and maybe string some together into some description of me right now.

Overgrown curly hair and fingernails. Listening to Julie Doiron by myself, waiting for a text message that won't come. Writer who never has anything important to say. Has two cats. Too much coffee. Cries whenever I hear the national anthem. 125 pounds. Afraid of nothing until after I've done it. High school graduate. Silently irritated by the "go meat" commercial. Three pairs of thrift store shoes. Thinks about people that don't know me very well. Running away from my image but running into it again wherever I go. Perfect grades. Socializes better with people who don't know me. Still waiting for that text message.

I don't know what's wrong with me tonight. I think it's all the alone time, without school for the past two weeks. If I were someone else and I hadn't seen a friend in two weeks, I'd be excited to get a text message from that person. It would make my day. I don't understand a lot of people. I would never tell someone I was going to hang out with them then never show up without calling and apologizing first. It makes me feel like there's something wrong and incredibly unappealing about me. But I guess everyone feels that way sometimes, and they don't feel the need to dwell on it like I do.

I need a haircut and a cheesecake blizzard and a belief system that doesn't revolve around me.

I want someone unexpected to call me right now.

I just want to watch a movie with someone.

I want too much.