Laughing Heart

your life is your life
don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission.
be on the watch.
there are ways out.
there is a light somewhere.
it may not be much light but
it beats the darkness.
be on the watch.
the gods will offer you chances.
know them.
take them.
you can’t beat death but
you can beat death in life, sometimes.
and the more often you learn to do it,
the more light there will be.
your life is your life.
know it while you have it.
you are marvelous
the gods wait to delight
in you.

Charles Bukowski

This post is for all of my friends who don't know what they're supposed to be doing. I don't know either, maybe because we're not supposed to be doing anything. The pressure to do something is coming from inside, and we all need to be aware of the chances the universe gives us. The chances are for us and us alone. Every moment, every new opportunity presented to us indirectly or directly, every person we meet...these are the chances we have to change our lives EVERY DAY. We are marvelous, deserving human beings, and we can do anything we want because we are the masters of our own destinies.

The gods are within us, and our entire beings are waiting for that moment when we finally choose the life that is the life for us, not the life whose path we can see. Because if we are seeing the path, then it isn't ours because our paths are created every day, with each step we take. We want to be individuals with stories, with histories worth telling about with heroes and action and suspense. That's what I want, at least. And a good character in a story has to want something, has to want one thing more than everything else with every action made to get closer to that one thing. When we know what that thing is, it will lead us for the rest of our lives.

And what do I want. What is the one desire that I will base the rest of my life off of? Right now, it's the desire not to have any desire. Because I want everything out of life, and I know it's up to me to get it all. But I don't want to spend the rest of my life chasing after an endless amount of treasure because then I will miss the treasure the universe presents to me every moment. Right now my treasure is the window in front of me with the view of Bellingham Bay. I love large bodies of water, they make me feel less trapped on land, in civilization. If I wanted, I could get on a boat right now and sail so far that I can't even see the lights from buildings; my view would be a timeless view, and I could be anyone in history.